Cafe Dialogue: Daisy Duke's, New Orleans

Daisy Duke's in the French Quarter describes itself as "Not your usual 24/7 Breakfast Joint'. They go on to say:

We don't do fancy. Instead we emphasise on creating a true southern atmosphere and providing the best cajun dining experience you can find.. We have found great success in always serving great food, for a great price all with great service.

In British parlance you could fairly say its cheap and cheerful, and that is not a bad thing. It is reasonable to assume that the restaurant is named after the heroine from the Dukes of Hazard TV series. Thus using a fictional character to inform the equally fictional presentation of a cheap eatery. This is par for the course in the French Quarter where everything is a simulacra of other fictional things.

8.15am

A group of three people, two young women and one young man, all in their mid twenties. Apparently, still recovering from the previous nights excesses.

Eating the Early Bird Breakfast, with Bottomless Cajun Bloody Mary’s (with free refills). This is one of Daisy Dukes breakfast features. As Jim commented on Tripadvisor “The Bloody Marys are to die for...actually they'll living you back up from the night before drinking”

“It's 8.15 and I'm already stoned” was the opening line of the conversation. Our impression was that they were a group of close friends in town on vacation. One of the women was in a band, but not as her main occupation. They could be considered to be a Normative Reference Group, acts as a source for ego's norms, attitudes, and value (p66). In this case the café was used as a space to explore and reinforce norms around relationships.

The opening discussion was around food selection, prices so cheap: “$2.99 for a non-meat breakfast, that’s retarded”. “I don't trust anyone’s grits but my grandmother's” – a way of linking that experience to family and tradition.

There followed a brief conversation about the waitress, “Image how it must be for the waitress to get here so early in the morning”. Some shock at the idea of an early start. They then proceeded to take a selfie, which they had to be redone a couple of times “so we look happier”. Online image is clearly something that is important to this group. It’s not enough to be having a good time with a group of friends, this also needs to be validated by other friends who can like and comment on their experience. From this they went on to check social media updates on their phones. 

There was a long pause in the conversation as they all worked through their smartphones. “Did Candy get a boob job, her tits look huge to me”. “Does Zak still like his hair?” Discussion about friends auditioning for Broadway. All of this flags up some of the issues that are important markers of identity, appearance, fashion, music – all mediated through online and real-time interactions.

How etiquette works in 21st Century

The heart of the discussion we would describe as an exploration of etiquette, how does social interaction work, what are social boundaries and what sanctions can be applied when someone transgresses.

The first conversational issue was when a man vaguely known by one of the women in the group had made an unwelcome comment. She was with her boyfriend when he walked in and made disparaging comments to her. She was clearly angry and upset by this crossing of social boundaries, “Don't bro me if you don't know me” in other words, we don’t have any relationship to allow this interaction. She comes at it again “Don't go exploring if you don't have the tools dude”. I think this was highlighting his lack of social sophistication, he didn’t read the signs he didn’t have the social tools to function effectively. But she was angry about the whole thing, “Don't fuck with me!” Her social space, social standing was something that had to be fought for, demanded. Because there are no universally accepted rules you have to demand the respect you need - life's a competition, important not to let people get one over on you

This interaction kicked the conversation to a more angry and tense level that spread out to include other people: “Fuck Tracey, she's just a basic bitch”

A brief insight into the negotiation of a relationship was seen in this encounter. Having been going out with a man for a number of months he said to her “Is it OK if I introduce you as my girlfriend?” She said yes but broke up with him a week later. Apparently the label of girlfriend made her feel subservient/dependent and this was not her self-image, and focused how she actually felt about him

When one of the women had been treated badly by another friend she used the phrase “Don't be ugly to me”.

Relationships are very important, loyalty is very important. On one occasion one of the group wanted to get a ride to a concert but the place was given to someone else. This was seen as a huge betrayal and therefore it justified retaliatory action. She got her boss to change the shift rota so the person couldn’t go to the festival. Although she felt, “nasty and evil inside” she eventually resolved the dilemma because “he's just a bus boy”. And so although there is a high value placed on loyalty and relationship, if the person is perceived as the other, it is OK to treat them badly. This position was fully endorsed by the rest of the group, indicating high levels of bonding social capital but also illustrating how the normative reference group works.

Towards the end, the anger that had been bubbling under towards the ex boyfriend surfaces. “Anyway, Trey is a fucking dickhead … It’s wrong to punch a woman in the face… 6 months and he just abused me….. stuck in a dryer with glass in my back” Nodding agreement from the others, then silence as they reflected on the Bloody Mary refills.

(Names have been changed to protect the implicated)

References

Richer, S. (1976). "Reference-Group Theory and Ability Grouping: A Convergence of Sociological Theory and Educational Research." Sociology of Education 49(1): 65-71.