Cafe Dialogue: Daisy Duke's, New Orleans

Daisy Duke's in the French Quarter describes itself as "Not your usual 24/7 Breakfast Joint'. They go on to say:

We don't do fancy. Instead we emphasise on creating a true southern atmosphere and providing the best cajun dining experience you can find.. We have found great success in always serving great food, for a great price all with great service.

In British parlance you could fairly say its cheap and cheerful, and that is not a bad thing. It is reasonable to assume that the restaurant is named after the heroine from the Dukes of Hazard TV series. Thus using a fictional character to inform the equally fictional presentation of a cheap eatery. This is par for the course in the French Quarter where everything is a simulacra of other fictional things.

8.15am

A group of three people, two young women and one young man, all in their mid twenties. Apparently, still recovering from the previous nights excesses.

Eating the Early Bird Breakfast, with Bottomless Cajun Bloody Mary’s (with free refills). This is one of Daisy Dukes breakfast features. As Jim commented on Tripadvisor “The Bloody Marys are to die for...actually they'll living you back up from the night before drinking”

“It's 8.15 and I'm already stoned” was the opening line of the conversation. Our impression was that they were a group of close friends in town on vacation. One of the women was in a band, but not as her main occupation. They could be considered to be a Normative Reference Group, acts as a source for ego's norms, attitudes, and value (p66). In this case the café was used as a space to explore and reinforce norms around relationships.

The opening discussion was around food selection, prices so cheap: “$2.99 for a non-meat breakfast, that’s retarded”. “I don't trust anyone’s grits but my grandmother's” – a way of linking that experience to family and tradition.

There followed a brief conversation about the waitress, “Image how it must be for the waitress to get here so early in the morning”. Some shock at the idea of an early start. They then proceeded to take a selfie, which they had to be redone a couple of times “so we look happier”. Online image is clearly something that is important to this group. It’s not enough to be having a good time with a group of friends, this also needs to be validated by other friends who can like and comment on their experience. From this they went on to check social media updates on their phones. 

There was a long pause in the conversation as they all worked through their smartphones. “Did Candy get a boob job, her tits look huge to me”. “Does Zak still like his hair?” Discussion about friends auditioning for Broadway. All of this flags up some of the issues that are important markers of identity, appearance, fashion, music – all mediated through online and real-time interactions.

How etiquette works in 21st Century

The heart of the discussion we would describe as an exploration of etiquette, how does social interaction work, what are social boundaries and what sanctions can be applied when someone transgresses.

The first conversational issue was when a man vaguely known by one of the women in the group had made an unwelcome comment. She was with her boyfriend when he walked in and made disparaging comments to her. She was clearly angry and upset by this crossing of social boundaries, “Don't bro me if you don't know me” in other words, we don’t have any relationship to allow this interaction. She comes at it again “Don't go exploring if you don't have the tools dude”. I think this was highlighting his lack of social sophistication, he didn’t read the signs he didn’t have the social tools to function effectively. But she was angry about the whole thing, “Don't fuck with me!” Her social space, social standing was something that had to be fought for, demanded. Because there are no universally accepted rules you have to demand the respect you need - life's a competition, important not to let people get one over on you

This interaction kicked the conversation to a more angry and tense level that spread out to include other people: “Fuck Tracey, she's just a basic bitch”

A brief insight into the negotiation of a relationship was seen in this encounter. Having been going out with a man for a number of months he said to her “Is it OK if I introduce you as my girlfriend?” She said yes but broke up with him a week later. Apparently the label of girlfriend made her feel subservient/dependent and this was not her self-image, and focused how she actually felt about him

When one of the women had been treated badly by another friend she used the phrase “Don't be ugly to me”.

Relationships are very important, loyalty is very important. On one occasion one of the group wanted to get a ride to a concert but the place was given to someone else. This was seen as a huge betrayal and therefore it justified retaliatory action. She got her boss to change the shift rota so the person couldn’t go to the festival. Although she felt, “nasty and evil inside” she eventually resolved the dilemma because “he's just a bus boy”. And so although there is a high value placed on loyalty and relationship, if the person is perceived as the other, it is OK to treat them badly. This position was fully endorsed by the rest of the group, indicating high levels of bonding social capital but also illustrating how the normative reference group works.

Towards the end, the anger that had been bubbling under towards the ex boyfriend surfaces. “Anyway, Trey is a fucking dickhead … It’s wrong to punch a woman in the face… 6 months and he just abused me….. stuck in a dryer with glass in my back” Nodding agreement from the others, then silence as they reflected on the Bloody Mary refills.

(Names have been changed to protect the implicated)

References

Richer, S. (1976). "Reference-Group Theory and Ability Grouping: A Convergence of Sociological Theory and Educational Research." Sociology of Education 49(1): 65-71.

Cafe Dialogues: Sesemae, Chinese Takeaway, Glasgow

A further strand we are developing is a listening survey of conversations from various settings. What do these snapshot conversations tell us about the nature of modern life

Conversation between two men

Ordered one large chips.....

This was a coincidental meeting of two men with similar experiences. The first was on a zero hours contact as a delivery driver during the day and delivered food for a Chinese Takeaway food store at night. The second man was ordering his large chips. The conversation started because the first man was yawning and saying how he was looking forward to the end of his shift. As the conversation progressed, it became clear that the second man who was older, had had similar experiences and in fact knew the company the first man worked for.

The first theme of the conversation was the need for men to do what you had to to make a living when you were just married and had small children. In this the older man affirmed the behaviour of the younger and assured him that the hard work paid off. The second theme was the desire for security, the younger man on a zero hours contract had plenty of work this week but not guarantee for the following weeks. Again the older man was supportive suggesting that the company were decent, the owner is brand new, he started with a wee escort van and now has lorries going to every island in Scotland. Again, the message is that hard work is rewarded and the future was positive.

This dialogue was a snapshot of some aspects of the experience of working class males in 21st Century Scotland. Although economic and employment stability is a thing of the past, the expectation is that the male is the provider. This role is accepted with humour and resignation, it's just what you have to do....even though we got divorced a few years later, said the older man.

It was also an example of how men informally support each other in their maleness. Other was a sense of care and the passing on of folk wisdom from the elder to the younger. This process of socialization which might have happened in the shipyards of the old Clydeside, informally and through apprenticeship relationships, continues in chance conversations in Chinese takeaways.

It reveals the need to support and be supported.

It could also be seen as an example of how hegemony works through every level of society. Socialized gender roles, an acceptance of exploitative employment and a belief in the fairness of the world - work hard and prosper - are all strengthened and internalized. No question of why some people have to work two jobs to survive, no question of how the world could be different.

The challenge for community educators is, how how we either get involved in these conversations or set up situations where these issues are explored. Maybe with a more historical or wider social analysis, these conversations might go in very different directions.